She fucking hates me.
I fucking hate you.
Sometimes.
Like really?
We finally get happy and then you fucking start bitching about Christofer.
And I know you’re not even jealous, rather you just think it’s some sick form of payback about the fucking Megan thing that I’d give you hell about.
And it was real nice to be like, “what if i said i met some cutiepants on rp named megan.”
well, shutthefuckup because you DID meet a fucking cutiepants named megan.
and she doesn’t have to be rp to piss me off. ~
and if it makes you happy.
christofer is prettymuch with his ex.
my exboyfriend turned gay.
the other one, you know JESSE?
He doesn’t want shit to do with me.
So I hope you’re fucking happy.
That nobody wants me.
Goddamn. -.-
Fairytales are not meant to last.
I think, I think I just died a little inside.
But, fuck’s sake.
I’ve definitely lost the game.
Because, it seems that you gave up on me before i could even think to give up on you. :|
I can’t wait to tell Kelli or whoever else tried to shed some positive light on this situation, “I told you so.”
Boys like you are overrated.
I think we take a lot of things for granted, besides the snow.
As it’s falling out side my window, I’m not in awe at how pretty it is.
But, I’m rather infatuated with the thought of your smile and your virtual lips upon my cheek.
Miserable at Best is on replay it has been for a couple of days.
I ripped out all the entries in my journal that were about you—that is to say, my journal is empty now.
I’m going to use it to continue to write poems and shit, it makes it slightly easiar to carry than a big purple binder full of faulty emotions poured out on paper.
I don’t particularly like this Tumblr anymore, because we don’t get on to see one another.
I kind of feel like we’re slipping away.
You don’t get on the computer anymore, certainly not on Valentine either.
We don’t talk on the phone anymore, although that part’s understandable.
It bugs me that you and I, are friends at best.
When I love you.
And it’s tearing me apart.
I think that friendship bracelet you made me is made of magic.
When I wear it, I feel happy.
And as it lays, cast aside on my dresser.
These pent up emotions are starting to break me.
I need you to send some more magic my way, in the form of a few meaningful words.
Just to get me through the day.
I told Kelli I was giving up on you.
Don’t let me follow through with it.
Breaking the habbit.
I think I’m going to stop addressing all my posts to a “you” that isn’t there. :)
I like my Tinkerbell pajama pants, the only Christmas present I looked forward to 0pening.
I also liked our phone conversation, although it was short lived.
Pft. there I go again, writing to you. :’]
And while I’m at it, our text messages sucked.
You kind of broke my heart into 3 pieces with three little reality checks, that I’m not exactly sure I needed.
But thanks for being frank. :}
But I wish you could’ve lied.
Since old habbits are hard to break, after all. :D
pU eviG t’noD
I don’t hate you. I wasn’t ignoring you. I was in the living room watching movies.
The replacement status thing was not aimed towards you but Chasey, because he replaced me. Although. IDNL the last week of school. Because it was all about AmandaAmandaAmanda. and let me tell you. Tabitha spent the night the other day and we went to the Dollar Tree and she was fucking THERE. and Tabitha ran to go talk to her and I walked away. And then, she was like, “Alisha?” and I was like. “No thankyou, Tabitha.” and then went to find my sister. And then Tabitha came back and said that AMANDA said I never talk to her. Okay? Like seriously? Who’s the one that blatantly ignores me in the hallway, and makes fun of me all whisperwhisper like with Blake? Who is PROBABLY the reason Izamar doesn’t talk to me anymore and who comes up to our group of friends at random intervals and DELIBERATELY doesn’t talk to me? Yeah huh, I hate that fucking Bitch. But I don’t hate you. So don’t worry about it.
BTW, I talked to Vee for 3 whole hours on the phone last night. I kept him up till 1:30 ;O I felt bad.
I miss you dearly, and im sorry for the way things went last week of school and i know you hate me at this given point. Do you remember when I said that we would never have a fight. Well you should cause I said never, and ya know just like the song, Never Say Never, and I hope that doesn’t make you upset by saying that song title. But yeah I miss you, and now I wish i hadn’t of said never, cause once you say it, it always happens. Maybe thats why C.D’s band ishIm really sorry, and i know by me saying it doesn’t mean a thing, but I miss you sweetie. I miss you like the 5 o’clock train. And like I have said before, moms worried about you majorly. Shes been asking me every night, “Talk to Lisha?” Whats my reply? Sadly, no mom. And then I think about what I did, I guess I know it now, and I’m sorry. I know I told you that I will not ever replace you, and I’m serious I won’t. I hate this that we are fighting. It really makes me sad, and I can’t talk about it with no one, cause no one cares. Like we care for each other. (WHOA! that sounded kinky o_O) I tried right there I honestly did. But Lisha, I miss you boo. I need you back on the phone with me sweetie. I don’t wanna become someone like THE FAGG to you, and your parents. I SWEAR! IM GONNA MAKE IT UP TO YOU IN THE BEST WAY I CAN! NEVERSHOUTNEVER! huh? Cause they happened and now everyone yells NEVERSHOUTNEVER! at there concerts huh? Well, Squishy. YOUR MY NUMBER ONE BEST FRIEND AND HERE LATELY I HAVE NEEDED YOU THE MOST CAUSE YOU’VE MISSED OUT ON A HELL OF ALOT OF FUNNY MOMENTS THAT I NEEDED YOU FOR! PLEASE LISHA PLEASE JUST CALL ME SWEETHEART!
Busses and Bruises.
Kelli.
Kelli.
Kelli.
I really wish you had your internet back.
I need you and I’m afraid to call you because your mom hates me. :l
As per usual.
I’m making Kaylee SADDER.
I’m a fucking failure.
And maybe RP’s just not working out anymore?
We could just make those lame anime profiles we were talking about.
And go from there. ;l
I really don’t know what to do.
At all.
Maybe I’ma not get online anymore?
I hope that’s not an empty threat.
But things would be okay without me.
I feel reckless.
And I don’t think anybody needs me as much as they let on.
When we get to school, EVEN IF YOU CAN’T SEE THIS.
I don’t know whether I want you to slap me or hug me. ;/
I think I deserve to be hit buy a bus like REGINA GEORGE.
I swear I’m fucking Bipolar.
I swear I’m a mean girl.
Litterally. ;l
These boots are made for walking, lol.
Y0URBIGG3STFAN (8:25:16 PM): kay The only thing that I was upset about. is that you’re like NEVER happy anymore and i can’t even make you happy so i must be a shitty girlfrann. and i didn’t wanna call you on the phone to annoy you or anything, i just i dunno. wanted to make you giggle or smile or something? so i could feel like i actually make you happy. But, I am for realll very happy. Good things happened in rl. =/ notttsomuch in rp.
PRINC3xCH4RMING (8:26:23 PM): im glad godo things happned in rl did ya make out with russel yet?
Y0URBIGG3STFAN (8:27:07 PM): rofl no. i’m ugly i doubt he’d wanna make out with THIS -gesturess to myself; He got me a reallly pretty christmas present, though.
PRINC3xCH4RMING (8:27:20 PM): yay! what is it!?Y0URBIGG3STFAN (8:28:58 PM): Thiss necklacee it’s like pink light blue silver and all kindsa colors. idk how to explain it. but i noticeeeeeee your ignoring everything ELSE I said except about theee rl stuff. yeahh?PRINC3xCH4RMING (8:29:20 PM): Yeah!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This kind of made me cry. :)
But you’ll never know, because you don’t get on YOURSPECIALVALENTINE long enough to care.
I’m really trying very hard to put a smile on your face.
And lately, that’s not working out too well EVER.
Yes I know I’m bitchy, yes I know I’m useless.
But you’re ALWAYS sad and you ALWAYS don’t feel good and I just want to make things better.
And a failure to make things better and the fact that you ignore our problems, makes me question whether or not you really care.
My heart goes out to all those sad blogsecrets.
ThankGOD mine were never posted. <3
I’m.a.mess. Kelli Doesn’t see why I put up with this—us, you.
But my answer every single time is:
BECAUSE I’M IN LOVE WITH HER♥
&& LOVE, doesn’t walk away.
People do.
Let’s just hope we forget how to use our feet.
yeah but this entire thing is leading me to believe that this is my fault. I shoulda never said yes to Russel and I should’ve just been alone for the rest of my life like i originally intended. I will always need you. But I doubt you friggen need me. No, I really do go home and sleep all day. He doesn’t call me or talk to me on facebook or anything. So he pretty much CAN’T consume my time. Just, I don’t even know. God, I’m a friggenfailure.
Of course l want you to reply to para. lm not mad at your for russel. lt’s not annoying that you’re dating him. l just kinda thought taht it was annoying because l thought you weren’t talking to me because you had him so you didn’t need me anymore. and l haven’t been telling you things because there really is nothing to tell. other then things you already know. like the fact that my family is shit, and l don’t wanna talk about sad things when l do get the chance to talk to you. you know? l was just gonna say something important but l forgot it. l didn’t say this was your fault btw., l said its mine for being a cry baby. remeber?
You’re winwinwinning at reblogging. So, it’s okay. idrk either. Don’t feel shitty. Because you’re already sad as it is, why would I want to make you feel worse, you know? It’s okay. I liked our para too. Do you WANT a fucking reply? Will that make you happy? D: I’m not mad, I’m quite pissed. Jsyk. I don’t even know why. It’s just a combination of the fact that you’re mad at me for Russel. And that it’s “annoying” that I’m dating him. And that we don’t talk much anymore, so that’s apparently “my fault” and when we do talk we get into these MASSIVE fights because we can’t tell each other how we really friggen feel.You know? I just really don’t know what to do. I want to make you happy. The way I loved you by Taylor Swift reminds me of you. ;| You> Russel You > Russel You > Russel. Isss that what you wanted to hear? ALJSDFL;KSJ i really really really don’t know what to say.
Ftw. Sorry if none of that made things better.
idk how to reblog, js. it does suck. l don’t know why you’re mad at me. l feel really shitty when you say that it doesnt matter and its pointless. l liked our para l; till we stopped.
i’m not really glad that you know. but since you do…it SUCKS, doesn’t it? I don’t talk to Russel after school or anything, so it’s not like he consumes my day. You take up more of my time then he ever has. I know it was our one month anniversary. I keep track of our friggen WEEK-aversaries. I didn’t bring up the month, because I didn’t think you’d care. And it’s not like even if I had brought it up that you’d do anything to celebrate. It’s not, It’s not, It’s NOT a bigger occurance. It’s not like I don’t reply to para because of lack of interest, it’s because I suck at para and I kind of feel self-conscious about it. I know we haven’t. I tell Kelli or Tumblr the stuff I don’t tell you in person, as opposed to making snapvines. And the reason we have not talked for real is DEFINITELY not because of Russel it’s because I go home and sleep all day because I feel like shit, healthwise. I know you haven’t been on much, due to headaches? It’s okay. I didn’t think you wanted me to text you/cared if I did. My heart’s like throbbing, literally. And my tummy’s felt like shit lately. But that’s not excuse right? I don’t even know what I’m saying I’m just making POINTLESS fucking rambles that you wouldn’t care to hear. So, I’ma just stop reblogging. Fuck it.
now l know how you feel about megan, js. l don’t want you to dump russel. l just wish you’d have time for the both of us. He asked you out on our one month anniverssary. Awesome. I guess that’s a bigger occurance though, so I didn’t bring it up. You haven’t replied to paras since the day before our anniversarry, and we haven’t really talked for real. Like we used to. You know? I haven’t gone on my rp account because I get dissapointed whenever I see that there is no new para to reply to. Im just a cry baby. I make you snapvines when I know that on a normal day (as in before Russel came along) You’d be talking to me, and you’re not. I haven’t really been getting on the computer alot becuase I’ve became amune to my headache pills. It didn’t take long. But everytime I look at a computer I get a headache, you haven’t been texting me. So, I really don’t know if you want to talk to me. I feel really ugly lately. I have a stomachache and a headache every single day. My neroligist said its from stress. Everything is always stress.
You’re winwinwinning at reblogging. So, it’s okay. idrk either. Don’t feel shitty. Because you’re already sad as it is, why would I want to make you feel worse, you know? It’s okay. I liked our para too. Do you WANT a fucking reply? Will that make you happy? D: I’m not mad, I’m quite pissed. Jsyk. I don’t even know why. It’s just a combination of the fact that you’re mad at me for Russel. And that it’s “annoying” that I’m dating him. And that we don’t talk much anymore, so that’s apparently “my fault” and when we do talk we get into these MASSIVE fights because we can’t tell each other how we really friggen feel.You know? I just really don’t know what to do. I want to make you happy. The way I loved you by Taylor Swift reminds me of you. ;| You> Russel You > Russel You > Russel. Isss that what you wanted to hear? ALJSDFL;KSJ i really really really don’t know what to say.
Ftw. Sorry if none of that made things better.
idk how to reblog, js. it does suck. l don’t know why you’re mad at me. l feel really shitty when you say that it doesnt matter and its pointless. l liked our para l; till we stopped.
i’m not really glad that you know. but since you do…it SUCKS, doesn’t it? I don’t talk to Russel after school or anything, so it’s not like he consumes my day. You take up more of my time then he ever has. I know it was our one month anniversary. I keep track of our friggen WEEK-aversaries. I didn’t bring up the month, because I didn’t think you’d care. And it’s not like even if I had brought it up that you’d do anything to celebrate. It’s not, It’s not, It’s NOT a bigger occurance. It’s not like I don’t reply to para because of lack of interest, it’s because I suck at para and I kind of feel self-conscious about it. I know we haven’t. I tell Kelli or Tumblr the stuff I don’t tell you in person, as opposed to making snapvines. And the reason we have not talked for real is DEFINITELY not because of Russel it’s because I go home and sleep all day because I feel like shit, healthwise. I know you haven’t been on much, due to headaches? It’s okay. I didn’t think you wanted me to text you/cared if I did. My heart’s like throbbing, literally. And my tummy’s felt like shit lately. But that’s not excuse right? I don’t even know what I’m saying I’m just making POINTLESS fucking rambles that you wouldn’t care to hear. So, I’ma just stop reblogging. Fuck it.
now l know how you feel about megan, js. l don’t want you to dump russel. l just wish you’d have time for the both of us. He asked you out on our one month anniverssary. Awesome. I guess that’s a bigger occurance though, so I didn’t bring it up. You haven’t replied to paras since the day before our anniversarry, and we haven’t really talked for real. Like we used to. You know? I haven’t gone on my rp account because I get dissapointed whenever I see that there is no new para to reply to. Im just a cry baby. I make you snapvines when I know that on a normal day (as in before Russel came along) You’d be talking to me, and you’re not. I haven’t really been getting on the computer alot becuase I’ve became amune to my headache pills. It didn’t take long. But everytime I look at a computer I get a headache, you haven’t been texting me. So, I really don’t know if you want to talk to me. I feel really ugly lately. I have a stomachache and a headache every single day. My neroligist said its from stress. Everything is always stress.
